Just checking in.

[outlander]

@Teej

[NiteKat]

Thanks for posting Teej

Yes I guess these feelings come in waves and its easy to feel like you are out of step with life but I think youll find that the members who have come to know you well will remain supportive throughout. The forum is available anytime when you feel the need to connect. At your own pace.

Regards

NiteKat (mod)

[Teej]

I'd like a coffee @CheerBear but just for now I hope it's ok over here. 🙏

I've missed you heaps and have been caught up in my own ridiculous mind games. 

[CheerBear]

Oh @Teej 💜 I am SO happy to see you. I've missed you heaps too. It feels like it's been ages.

Wanna talk about the mind games?

[Teej]

I'm actually not sure what to say @CheerBear. I've found myself down a twisty rabbit hole that I'm not sure how to get out of. I'm a little scared of talking about it because it feels a bit far from left field. 

how are you?

[CheerBear]

For what it's worth @Teej, I'm not scared of left field or twisty rabbit holes so I can listen, but I also respect that it's hard for you and you might not want to talk too. It's just nice to see you ♥️ Are you still seeing psych/therapist?

I'm in a strange space. My kids have been at school for, I don't even know now, this year. I think it's around 35 days 😟 I haven't seen other family or friends including Mr Person for over 6 weeks and that stinks. I'm working which is awesome and amazing and so cool, but stressful and really challenging particularly at the moment. But I'm still standing and I wouldn't have thought that possible at the end of last year.

[Teej]

That's really great about still standing @CheerBear . It sounds so stressful and argh about the kids being home and being so isolated. Have you still got siblings help there? I can't imagine the not seeing mr part. Do you still have unwell one around? I've been wondering about what's been happening.

i still have psych and therapist. Therapist has had to do some life saving activities over the last few weeks. She stepped up when I needed her most. Psych is still here too and supportive. She only heard about my dark place yesterday. She is supportive. I couldn't make yesterday's appointment because I had to have a precautionary Covid test because I'd had a sore throat. I got my negative results back last night and see her for an appointment on Monday. Some of the left of field stuff has to do with her in a round about way. 

[CheerBear]

I have sib here who is helpful sometimes @Teej 😉 It's helpful having the adult interaction but it's also like having a 4th child here at times, and there's tricky with Little there on occasions too. Plus the house is teeny tiny which is ugh. There's a lot going on and nothing going on at the same time. Strange times here. Unwell one is still around and hanging on. In a way covid has helped as they can't be around anyone so no colds or bugs of any kind which would be dangerous. I spent some really nice time with them before lockdown 2. I miss them both a lot at the moment.

I was wondering if psych had anything to do with left field. Life saving activites sound pretty full on and hard for you 😟 How are you doing now? Can you still get any kind of respite or away break and support?

[Teej]

I can imagine the catch 22 with 4th child thing @CheerBear . And a big ugh for the tiny space. I imagine you'd have a big who is growing more into that adult space a bit as well. I'm so glad you got time with unwell one before lockdown. I hope they can hang on until after lockdown again. Covid has had its swings and roundabouts. 

We lasted until a few weeks ago all living here together 24/7 as they were still working from home. It became really intense towards the end when we were sick of each other. S1 has finally left the nest. I still have a s4 living here but only 2 or 3 nights a week and we tend to be a bit like ships in the night. He's been working lots. 

ive lost access to my respite program now, a casualty of Covid. Previously there was a budget for those not on ndis but that's been soaked up with extra Covid costs. It was something I've needed. Even though I have my own space again, mentally I think I've needed that safety net for when I fall. 

[CheerBear]

Covid sucks @Teej. It's hurt us. The house is suffocatingly small and no school or space is an issue. But if I go there too much it turns dark and twisted so I'll stop now 😉♥️

I can imagine how intense you all living there 24/7 would have been. Does S4 have a partner there at times too?

I'm super sorry about losing the respite program. I know how scary and shaky it can feel to have a safety net pulled away 😟 How are you feeling about an appt with psych on Monday? Does Monday feel like forever away or is it OK for you to wait?