Just checking in.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yes @Teej , have the student one 👍

[Teej]

That’s good then. @Faith-and-Hope . I only worked well when I was at home on the practical stuff. Theory was ok to do at uni. I used to miss it but don’t so much now, now I live it vicariously through you 😜😘

[Faith-and-Hope]

🤗💕 @Teej 

[CheerBear]

I was feeling a bit sad last night and this morning. We've been with well and unwell people and it's full of love but has an under the surface sadness about it. Unwell one has been feeling pretty unwell but is trying to keep it hidden. They were in their PJs for most of the day yesterday (something they don't do often) but changed out of them before my crew arrived so the crew wouldn't feel worried. Once we settled in here they spent a lot of time with littlest passing on tips and tricks of their favourite game and giving littlest special things to keep involving it. They were also clearing out things in a part of the house that they don't and won't need anymore. It's kind of hard to watch.

We'll be spending a bit of time with them over the holidays - something we are all looking forward to. I'm puppy sitting so they can both go to a big appointment for unwell one as they haven't been able to do that together since getting the little pudding dog. I'm also hoping to spend a few hours heading to a different place with unwell one to give them company for another appointment. They're both going to watch mine (and a combination of mine) for a couple of appointments we have too. I was hoping to get to do some fun things with the kids over the holidays but this spending time with each other stuff seems more important now.

I think I wanted to share because there's some ouch happening for me in a way that I'm trying to keep under control and suck up a bit so it doesn't get in the way. It's a weird time, not like anything I've worked through before.

[Zoe7]

It is hard to see unwell one do things they need/want to do knowing that there is only limited time left @CheerBear  I very clearly remember my Nan doing those things too until she became too unwell  - then every minute I spent with her was special. You and the LF will look back on those special moments with both fondness and sadness but they will be memories you can hold onto forever.

It is very tough seeing how both unwell and well ones are dealing with all this but that is their way and so it has to be okay. It is good that you are helping with appointments and they are in return ...and you get some Pudding time as well 🐶

It is a hard thing to work through - you are probably already grieving for unwell one either though they are still with you and that is tough to have to deal with. Spend as much time as you can with them - that will mean the world to them Hon and also to you 

[Teej]

In a strange mood so hopefully my response is ok. 

@CheerBear  reading the last part of your post I think I realised that you probably need time to deal with the unknown feelings but from what I know you need that time alone to do it. Can you find a day or afternoon where you can build a nest to 'feel the feels' without having to keep a lid on it so a volcano doesn’t erupt. Sorry fixit mum brain kicking in. I also think you’ll need a day for just kid and mum fun without the heavy too. Even though the kids might not feel the heavy I think you will when you are with well or unwell one. It is a really hard place to be and I’m feeling the feels with you.

I love what @Zoe7 wrote too.  I love that you are able to have this time to build memories and relationships. I guess I could see the frustration of how this happened but maybe in the long term it will become less important around the circumstances and more important for just the time and the memories. I don’t know. I could be talking out my backside too 😘. 

Hugs 

[Zoe7]

For what it is worth @Teej I don't think you are talking out of your backside - you make a lot of sense Hon 

[Teej]

Thanks @Zoe7 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

Thanks for listening and understanding @Zoe7. It's tricky to watch them do it their own way and to know that is very OK and exactly how they need to be doing it, but to also want them to do things differently too. There are things I know will need to be worked out and that would make things easier, but I can't push. In a selfish way too I want that done sooner so that it isn't left until after when we have all the different feels also. It's such a 'step back and sit with' kind of thing. I do better when I can fix things.

@Teej totally OK (and lovely) response, thank you. You're super right in that building a nest and feeling it alone could be helpful. I will probably have a night on my own at home to get some cleaning done for a house inspection (of course it fell in the holidays 😏). This is volcano conditions but with extra pressure knowing that there is no-one at the moment (and I'm guessing for quite some time) to step in for the crew if I do the spectacular crash that I've done a couple of times before. The kids and I do need an us day. I'll try and work out something. Hope your strange mood is OK enough for you.

Thank you both. It helps to have a place to be a bit real about this one ❤

[Zoe7]

I get that fix it way of doing things @CheerBear and it would certainly be super hard for you to have to sit back with this one. ...but you will need to be there for your LF snd help them through all this as it unfolds - that is where you can refer to all the lovely moments with both well and unwell one and help them to know that memories live on even after the person has gone. It will be a super tough time for everyone and although you wish you could do more right now you are actually doing enough by just being around. Having well and unwell one deal with all this in their own way is so important and you are being super supportive - that is gold in these situations for everyone concerned