Just checking in.

[Appleblossom]

@Teej I love your use of 

"fixit mum brain kicks in ..."

it is a shorthand for so many things when mums ... and nicely gender balanced ...

Just saying hello

 

[CheerBear]

Thanks for the reminder that it is enough to be around @Zoe7. I think it makes a difference for everyone to have us together. I know well and unwell one really appreciate it and the little crew will too when they look back I think.

I've been playing with Pudding Puppy lots. We taught her how to go down the stairs this morning which is great because she is getting too big to carry (they grow so quickly!). I was almost as excited as when my babies started walking haha. Big and I are heading home later to pick up our furballs so we don't have to worry about them being on their own (or about little Rocket annnoying the heck out of the others and stirring up all the trouble she does 😆). I think it will feel extra nice to have us all here. The 7 of us definitely keep things busy when we rock up anywhere lol.

I hope your Sunday is going well ❤

[Zoe7]

It sounds like you will have some lovely times with all the crew together @CheerBear 

I can imagine Rocket running nuts around the home annoying Mouse and Noodle while you are away - bet she rules the house and being still a kitten full of energy.

They do grow suoer fast - snd time with them goes quickly. I was just telling my sister yesterday that I have had Toby for over 5 years - it just seemed like lst year that he ws a puppy.

Have a great time with everyone together Hon - and yes it is enough for you all to just be around 

[Teej]

Just checking in

hmmm mood is a bit nuts and shouldn’t be but oh well. Not sure if it’s a hormone fall out because I stopped hrt but it shouldn’t affect me because of the point I dropped off at. I had a really hard day yesterday, ended up with SI and wanted to turn it off.....I just realised as I’m typing this it was my last birthday in birthday season. I didn’t get to see him on the day when you turn 19 and your birthday is on a weekend you have to see mates and a gf :face_with_rolling_eyes:, but in all honesty I’d rather he do that at this age. He spent it with his mates that his had since he was 5 at his old town. I’m actually kind of proud that he still has them as for a while he drifted away. In this ones case growing up in a small town was a gift. 

Maybe thats the bonkers and it was subconscious as I always have had to hold on so tightly through their birthdays for fear of ending it on their birthday as I came close quite a few times. Yay for the end of birthday season. One day birthdays might return to 'normal' but for now birthdays are still messy. 

Today I am car free and feel so naked :face_with_rolling_eyes:. It feels like something is missing. One of mine had to take it for work today. I think it will be strange when all this mum stuff goes. I was ready for lots of it but definitely not all of it. 

@Appleblossom Lovely to see you around. 

@CheerBear  Not sure if we are interchangeable on another thread 😜😘. I hope things are not too bonkers in the house of many. 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Teej 🙂 Big yay for the end of birthday season! I've seen how tricky they can get for you and I understand why, and it looks like you've done well through it all this season (from here anyway). Hugs for the SI and the hormones (so much ugh with that - hearing you!).

I'm head scratching at the interchangeableness? I always have a quiet laugh when you make this face 😜 though!

Things are good here 🙂 A little bonkers (keeping a cat collection away from a puppy with kids who want to play with both will do that!) but it's really nice. It's just me, the crew, the dog, the cats and well one today (lol to 'just'). Unwell one is out for the day which makes things even more relaxed in a way. It's been a while since we've been able to chill here without needing to go the next day and the slower pace is good 😊

Wondering how things are going with the settlement stuff (if you're up to and can share)?

👋 and ❤ to all

[Teej]

Interchangeable @CheerBear . Just wondering if you read a post tagged to you this morning that might not have been relevant. I have a feeling it was for me and had a giggle at that. 

Im feeling the big scared feelings now. I just got a phone call from my group. Tomorrow is my last session and I’m being booted from those groups as I’ve done most of them and they think it is time to move on. I can see why this is the way it is but I’m so not ready. It’s been such a grounding thing for me. It’s also often the only interaction I have with others during the week when kids are away. Kids are away house sitting for 10 weeks from early May. 

Settlement stuff is messy. I just got the call today about collecting my bank statements which my brother wants. I’m still so confused and twisted about giving my ex a heads up. I know this sounds weird to the outside world, and supposedly I don’t owe him anything, but I am struggling with the fact that this will hurt him tremendously, probably more so than anything could now. When we were together he always said that he’d have to be taken from that property in a box :coffin: . I guess I have some fears that he will. I try not to because I know it’s unhealthy but there is still some love there for him, the person I knew and loved. I also know deep down that he never would have done anything to purposely hurt me and up until now still wouldn’t. I can’t live with what he did and it changed mine and others lives forever so it always feels so messed up.

sorry for rambling. Glad you are having a gentle, if somewhat loopy with kids and animals, day. It sounds well needed. 

[CheerBear]

Ah I get it now @Teej 😜😊

Rambling is good 😘 I can imagine the scared and maybe sad that comes from not having your group (and from your crew doing 10 weeks of house sitting!). Was the group thing sudden? Mega hugs ❤

I get it with the settlement. No amount of thinking brain can help feeling brain be OK sometimes. That's a big worry with the box comment and even though you're not responsible for his actions, it doesn't feel nice to sit with that thought. Now my fix-it brain comes in - is there any way of reminding him of support services if/when it happens? In a way that to me seems a bit like reminding him that his choices are his alone. I did it with friend recently (nowhere near the level of intensity you're going through) but when he put it on me I put it back on him. Still doesn't help with the feelings bit though. It's super tricky and messy. For what it's worth, I think you're incredibly thoughtful and kind.

[Teej]

Not really all of a sudden for group @CheerBear but for me reality hit in that tomorrow is my last day and I thought I’d have something to fill that void now with something purposeful like volunteering. With the legal stuff, kids going and knowing I have an impending surgery I’m not sure that trying to start something new is wise for me. I also don’t know how long or what operation yet. I’m not keen on starting something that I have to stop for weeks. My GP hoped that it would all be done within the next three months but I also know that’s not always possible. She managed the impossible with my last surgery but different times and different hospitals. 

My fixit brain worked like yours already 😄. The first hint of mh issues from my ex I told my brother to include some support services and tell him he hoped he had support for his mh which he did in an email. It sounded proactive when I did it and my brother knows to be aware of it. But feelings and logic suck with me at a huge level. I feel like I’m letting him down.  My brother doesn’t want me to have contact with my ex in case he starts the emotional stuff with me knowing I could get sucked in and under with it. I struggle immensely to do something that may hurt someone. It’s possibly not a helpful trait but it’s been with me for a long time now. The feeling underneath is really strong. I’m going to talk to my psych about it tomorrow. 

[CheerBear]

Totally see why starting something new right now isn't maybe going to be as helpful until waiting for when things have settled a bit @Teej. There's a fair bit up in the air for you. That's often really unsettling for me 😏 Time to learn to crochet maybe? Lol - I'm still working on my plan to have the whole world making yarn goodies 😆

I think our fix-it brains often go running on the same track 🙂 It's hard to feel like letting someone down, especially someone there are big feelings for. Not wanting to hurt someone is a lovely trait of yours but something that could easily lead to trouble for you. I hope your psych is able to support you in a helpful way through this.

[BryanaCamp]

hi @CheerBear hi @Teej hope you don't mind me chiming in on your thread here.

Teej I am about to go on the pill for medical reasons and my gp said it would play havoc with my moods and my psychiatrist said it might even out my moods. So yeah, hormones effect mood. No doubt.

I am single so can't imagine your ex situation but it always pays to be sensible when it comes to real estate and money. You don't want to be homeless so bottom line it is best you protect your assets. And your future.

I have no contact with my ex but I have contact with my very mentally unwell brother. He takes a big toll on me. He was recently admitted involuntarily to the psych ward overseas. It was phonecalls only - no visits 'cos he was overseas - and that alone was exhausting and very tirggery. We have supported him so much for the last 12 months and he is one of my best friends but boy is he self-destructive, negative, paranoid and hard to be in contact with. You gotta look after yourself. I got to the point where I needed a break from him and my sister did too. So it is sensible, self-care even, to put yourself first and not have contact with someone you love who is very unwell.

I live alone and was very socially isolated for 7 years (no contact with any family for 10 years) due to my mental illness. So I sympathise with the fear of ending a group, no kids around and potentially being isolated. I hope it helps to know that if I could make new friends then anyone can. I am the most shy, anxious, disturbed & troubled, isolated individual that I know. But I forced myself out there into the social world and went over and over again to meetups, meeting new person after new person. It was so stressful, I was doing it even before I was on good meds. I even got hassled by sleazy, no-good guys which inflamed my psychotic symptoms. But I kept at it in earnest & kept trying to make connections with people I really liked. And 2 years later I have several circles of friends who I like and an active social life. Socialising makes me feel better, gives me purpose and meaning and fills in my time so things don't get too intense and dependent with my sister.

If I can do it anyone can do it. I hope it helps to know you are not alone.