Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Former-Member]

Sending gentle thoughts your way @Determined .

[Determined]

Another major meltdown here tonight.

I don't have the energy for this any more 😢

[Former-Member]

@Determined  did Darling take the hint from GP that pdoc follow up might be worthwhile?   Would grief counseling be something she would consider?

[Determined]

Um....

No and a definite no @Former-Member 

She is very angry atm and rejecting any and all help.

Very tense here this morning but an improvement on last night. 

[Former-Member]

@Determined  ☹️😪

[Determined]

So last night after I removed myself from a situation where I felt threatened. When FIL came for dinner and asked where I was. The response...

'Oh I got a little upset so he has run away to have a cry' 

If I translated what  'a little upset' =  it would breach guidelines. 

We have now moved to threats of self harm (permanent type). I think at this stage it is intended only to upset me but if it continues it will be taken as serious. Calling for help will only make things worse short term but if I do nothing and something happens... what am I to tell the children😭

[Former-Member]

@Determined  🙏

[Determined]

So things have some of settled down at the moment and moving on with the usual pretend nothing happened kind of way. 

[Determined]

Had an interesting discussion with psycholigist today about boundaries. 

One of my biggest barriers has always been around boundaries feeling like a parent - child relationship. It was pointed out that rather than disrespecting darling by giving her rules it is more about respecting myself so as not to accepting treated with disrespect. Kind of a light bulb moment. Ditto the children. 

And on reflection later on it comes back again to certainty in reaponse creating security. 

So we will try this (*boundaries)  again. 

[Eve7]

I am really inspired by you @Determined and I am trying so hard to make my recovery real and not a facade. I have you to thank for this plan to change my behaviour. I want to be well in the true sense of the word.

Blessings

👍