Lived Experience Forum

[Ngaio-ROP]

YES! 100% @Shakeelah25

It throws back to our primal days of making more humans but it's still there because we are one of very few species who engage physically just for pleasure.

And it's an important part of how we find joy in the world. Which is why it's so great the MH meds are getting better and better at not taking that part of people away.

[outlander]

Haha lol @Shakeelah25 but don't do anything until your good and ready ok. You can ALWAYS say NO.

@Ngaio-ROP so really learning about all aspects of life will help in this area. Having a relationship and learning what you do and dont like in a partner and learning the ways in which you want to be treated as well as how to treat others

[outlander]

And really in a way learning how our body works..?

[Ngaio-ROP]

Absolutely @outlander The more you know who you are the better your relationships will be.

Including with your mum and step-dad. It's really easy to feel upset by other people's opinions when we are still deciding what our own are. Especially if we're someone that tends towards thinking we've got it wrong. The stronger you get in your own sense of what's right for you, the more it will just seem like they are stating their opinion and you won't feel as impacted.

[Ngaio-ROP]

Definitely @outlander

[Shaz51]

Hello @MDT , @Evie1, , are you around , this is very interesting

[Shakeelah25]

thanks so much @Ngaio-ROP. I do feel better about the situation now. I just need to go slow and discover what works for me

[MDT]

hey
only just got on
was at group support

[outlander]

unfortunatley I cant move out and the situation is so complicated id rather not go into it but long story short when mum, her bf and my siblings mvoe into their own house itll just be myself and my pop whom I care for which is the break im waiting for. Ive been trying for the past year to change my relationships with my mother. Her bf isnt my father but still had a major impact on my life esp since trauma with men are involved. But ive been trying to work with my mother but when I did that she started using my mental health against me ans wasnt helping so I went back to not telling her at all because nyhting to do with mentla health gets me into trouble. Ive been deermined to change things and Im only just seeing a min-ute change in her and the way our family runs. Im expected to take care of my siblings at the drop of a hat and just expected to be there. I never get asked its an unspoken demnad which is hard for me to change.
Im finding it really hard to 'block' what they say because well shes my mother. I have borderline persoality disorder and peoples words and arguments tend to really upset me a great deal.

@Ngaio-ROP

the thing that goes with the libido and relationships in this aspect is ive always been blackmailed by her that if i was to get  bf then she would sell my horses up and at that point in time i wasnt interested but now its what i crave. i crave to have relationships like normal people do. if i was to tell her i was dating my life would become alot harder. it makes it harder still becasue im still working out my sexualtityas well

[Ngaio-ROP]

That's a great way to see it @Shakeelah25 And try not to get sucked into the ridiculous idea that it is all supposed to happen by a certain age. All the latest research shows that the older someone is before their first intimate relationship, the healthier that relationship and subsequent relationships are.

Which makes perfect sense to me.