Adhd and suicidel thoughts

[AnonymousUser33]

Hello first time posting,

I was diagnosed with adhd as a kid and then rediagnosed last year, I had 3 attempts in my early 20's and since then promised everyone around me And myself I wouldn't do it again, and now is the first time I have felt the same way again, im on medication but it stopped working, im not to sure what to do, it is my birthday today and all I feel is that I'm going to break down, is anyone else had or are going through similar situation?

[Jynx]

Hey @AnonymousUser33 welcome to the forums, glad to have you with us! And Happy Birthday!! One for @Shaz51 to add to her calendar (Shaz always knows members' birthdays, it's so impressive, and always so lovely to get a tag for ya bday hehe). 

I'm really hearing that you're at a loss, feeling a bit stuck, am I right? I'm an ADHDer too, late diagnosis for me and whooooo boy it was quite the ride learning about all the ways it actually impacts my day-to-day. Do you mind my asking about the re-diagnosis? Is it the case that when diagnosed as a kid, you weren't really given treatment but now you are or...? 

I think burnout is super common amongst neurodiverse folks. We have to spend extra energy masking, and well, trying to keep up with the neurotypical life-pace has never been sustainable for me. Do you think it could be a factor for you?

[Jynx]

@AnonymousUser33 Oh and feel free to join us over on the ADHD thread!!

[Ru-bee]

Hi @AnonymousUser33 and welcome to the forum. 

Thank you for sharing some of your story here, it sounds like today has been a hard day. 

Have you spoken to your doctor about your medication no longer feeling like its working?

[MermaidHair]

Hey @AnonymousUser33, welcome to the forums, I'm really glad you're here!

I'm sorry to read about what brings you here but I'm glad you've reached out. Do you find you usually struggle around birthdays and special occasions? My partner does, he can become very depressed and withdrawn on his birthday, for him it is because of trauma.

Are you safe right now?

Have you got a care provider you can update about your medication not working anymore? It's really common that things might need to be changed and tweaked.

I hope you can get on top of it again, it's a really horrible thing to be overwhelmed by such thoughts. You are not alone but nobody should have to go through it.

[AnonymousUser33]

Hey thanks for getting back to me, not usually like this, as long as I can remember, after my birthday or if I had a friend over otlr family over I always feel lost and dont really know what to do with my self when everybody's gone home. Same as Christmas and Easter, but not usually on my actual birthday, I am safe and I have good family around me so I know I will get through this, I have a psychologist appointment coming up so I have kept a thoughts journal I will show him, I'm on medication at the moment but I don't think it's right for me as I have had lots of side effects that have either not gone away fully or at all, hoping to change to something else and see if that works 

[AnonymousUser33]

Yeah I was diagnosed when I was pretty young I think like 6 or 7, maybe 8, and got put on medication for it but my parents didn't like the side effects and personality change it had on me at a young age so they took me off it and since then till last year I almost forgot I had adhd but wondered why everything seemed more difficult for me then others, I've always had really bad anxiety even when I was a kid, and part of me thinks it's more then just adhd, my psychologist put me on a medication because I've always had alcohol problems and smoking and energy drinks, and he said that comes down to b.e.d, he then did a test on depression and I scored mild, and with anxiety I scored severe, so he put me on another medication at night to help with sleep eating and anxiety, but that's now lost effect aswell, I've always had this cycle where if I have a hobby or something I enjoy I'll be good for awhile, then as soon as I lose interest it all just comes crashing down again like now, and it happens multiple times a year