Lived Experience Forum

[Judi9877]

Hi.

I’m not sure if this is the right area to post but here goes nothing. Today I went to see my sister and I noticed that her 14 year old cat wasn’t her usual cute and adorable self. The cat was making weird noises so I told my sister that she needed to be taken to the vet, so I tracked one down and took her and the cat there. I called my sisters boyfriend who agreed to meet her there. I had a weird feeling that the cat wasn’t going to make it and I voiced it to my sister on the way to the vet, feeling very guilty as I did this, as I didn’t want to upset her.

Long story short- Puss was in fact very sick  and was in respiratory distress to the point where the best option was to put her to sleep. I found this out after getting a call from my sister- I had to leave her there to check on her house- and went back to the vet to see my sister and to say goodbye to Puss, as well as to take photos of Puss and my sister before she was put down. Photos were taken, arrangements made and all of us left the vet without Puss, very sad and upset.

I came home with my housemate and tried to sleep in a fit of tears, but couldn’t so I chose to get up and do some knitting. I was feeling so horrible and guilty about telling my sister that I thought Puss wasn’t going to make it before the inevitable occurred, yet I wasn’t 100% certain that Puss wasn’t going to make it as I’m no vet. I know that my sister is okay with me as I’ve spoken to her since the death happened but I still feel very guilty about this. I’ve been talking to my housemate and they’ve been great but it’s still raw and it hurts.

I remember Puss as a kitten and because of her, I became a cat person. Puss was special and unique and I know I couldn’t possibly love her as much as my sister but I’m struggling right now how to cope. I feel horrible for being the bearer of bad news to my sister. 

Thanks for reading this.

[Appleblossom]

@Judi9877 

It is horrible being the bearer of bad news and death of a loved family pet is a serious grief.  Maybe look online for some petgrief sites.  I have seen them when I was distressed about my cat passing.

You were great in the that you possible enabled the cat to have a better and supported death and enabled your sister to have you company and time to deal with it all, rather than just finding him dead.

Yes I am cat person too.

Cheers

[MDT]

losing pets is hard @Judi9877 

Losing our dog was hard. I had to take him to the vet as he was not well. And very similar happened to him.

Try not to beat yourself up about it my friend. You only had the best interests for you sister's cat.

No one can hold that against you

[Maggie]

@Judi9877  Very sorry to read your distressing news. I think your observation prevented more suffering for the cat. Losing a pet is a huge loss, I know the cat was owned by your sister, but you had a deep relationship there also.

Sending warm thoughts your way. Take care. 💜💜💜

[Owlunar]

Hi @Judi9877 

I understand how you feel and there is no need to feel guilty - it's really hard to make a decision about having a pet helped to the Rainbow Bridge but it does have to happen and good on you and God bless you for helping - that is something hard to grasp but wonderful

I had to make this decision about my old cat just over a year ago - she was unhappy and lashing out at me and the vet said it could be a number of age-related disorders and I didn't want to put my good friend though that - it was likely to be cancer - and she was put to sleep right then and it still hurts

But it is unkind to keep pets alive when they are suffering - hold onto that as I have done - it is a kindness that animal have that humans do not - and the pets stay as they are always

Sending my loving thoughts

Dec

[Gazza75]

@Judi9877 ❤️❤️❤️

[CheerBear]

@Judi9877 very sorry to read about the experience you had and the loss and grief you're experiencing. Very tough 🙁❤

[BryanaCamp]

hey @Former-Member 

can we get this thread off the forum or at least with a trigger warning???

It's horrifyingly triggery to me and all my kind. This is a tough time of year and you have to throw in pet death to add to the stess?

I can't believe this thread is ok but it's not ok for me to post how many km I've hiked in good health with healthy BMI. 

Who are you playing favourites to on this forum, why is my opinion always dismissed as irrelevant and my posts are always moderated despite the fact that I never mention death and pet death? What are you actually doing?

[SleepyPanda]

@BryanaCamp @Judi9877 

I have added a Trigger Warning at the start of the thread.

[Owlunar]

I understand this is a tough issue for you at them time of year @BryanaCamp  and I hear what you are saying

But unfortunately death happens - with pets as well as humans - and we are here for emotional discomfort for different reasons and personally I am glad we can post about these issues here because - after all - people don't want to discuss it irl and where else can we relieve the pain of our losses

I have two major anniversaries in the next couple of weeks - they are part of my life - I want to have the support of the people here when I come to those dates because there is no where else I will find it

But it also must be hard for you not to be able to write about your hiking etc - that is vitally important for you - and I am sorry you have been moderated

Abraham Lincoln wrote

We can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but never all of the people all of the time

And this is true

I am sorry you were triggered - death is a really hard subject - I have had my share of it and it never really goes away - it was someone's death that caused me to join this forum in the first place

Take time to care for yourself - I have never been offended about anything you have written here

Dec