I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It feels like a huge day @Ru-bee. I’m going to give the dogs dinner earlier than usual and have an early night. It all feels too much right now. 

I don’t have anyone staying with me tonight so for safety mum is going to ring before she goes to bed at around 11:30 and then when she wakes up at 5:15. All I have to do is answer and roll over and go back to sleep. It’s just to make sure that I wake up and don’t die in my sleep. Which apparently can happen! 

Having her care is amazing, I can’t even explain how much gratitude I have for her at the moment. Her driving did scare me though! 

[AuntGlow]

Good evening @Captain24,

I am SO proud of you for using both your strategies and your words when things were feeling hard. That takes so much courage. 

And to be met by your mum with care, compassion, and presence; that must have been exactly what your inner child needed. 🥹

Wow! It definitely sounds like you are being well-informed and taken care of. How are you feeling now?

It's okay that you're not feeling your best right now - today has been big.

Since you have some time off work... what can you do to really nurture yourself this week? 🥰

[Captain24]

Sorry @AuntGlow I went to bed really early last night. 

Im proud of myself too for being able to get through it with some much less anxiety than I thought. I have emailed my psych to thank her. We don’t usually email but I really wanted her to know my appreciation. 

My inner child was grateful and I only wish it could have been like it before with other things but I have come to accept that that is the way she is. It was just relieving to get this side of her when I needed it.

My gyno was really good. He came and checked me before I left and was really kind. I’m glad I was referred to him. 

Im still in a far bit of pain and still having blood loss but I guess that is to be expected. I really don’t know what to expect from here though. I guess it’s write a list for when I see him again to ask. 

Im feeling mentally and physically drained. But yes, I have to acknowledge what yesterday was and the trauma I put myself through getting prepared. Even though it turns out that I was better prepared than I thought! 

I have some Lego, resin, 3D puzzle and I might start my mosaic. So I have plenty to do and also allow myself to sleep a bit for the next day or so. 

Thanks for your help the other night. I know we don’t usually chat but I appreciate that you took the time for me. 

[Captain24]

I’m really tired today and sore. I slept for 10 hours last night so I thought I should have recovered. But I guess not. 

Mum just dropped some groceries in and I think I’ll just feed the dogs and go back to bed. I’ve taken pain relief but that’s just not working. 

Im feeling pretty exhausted mentally and physically. I’m pretty down and out. I guess that’s probably to be expected though. Not helping the thoughts of going to sleep and staying asleep though. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 was just wanting to see how you were feeling today but I can see you're still feeling pretty tired which is absolutely fair enough! I'd be pretty surprised if you were recovered today, though that would be great wouldn't it?

Have you been thinking about contacting your Dr about the pain?

Get lots of rest today Cap, we'll be here thinking about you and sending healing thoughts your way!

[Captain24]

Thanks for checking in @Ru-bee 

I was recovery was that easy. I actually did think it might have been but I was so so wrong! 😂 

The Dr is in town on Friday so if it’s still really bad then I’ll just go up to the medical centre for him to see me. 

I’ve been trying for a couple of hours but Jett is still barking at everything since the whole cat debacle. It has really made him more anxious than he already was. 

[Ru-bee]

Sounds like a good plan @Captain24 

Oh no Jett! It sounds like the cat debacle really shook him, poor boy.

I took my anxious dog to the groomers this morning and he's come out looking like a different dog! He's been shaved for the summer and looks like a freshly shorn sheep 😂

[Captain24]

Jett just won’t settle. It scared him with the cat being under the outside tabke at 6 in the morning when he went to do his business and I thought the cat had gone but it had been hiding under my lounge all day. I’ve never heard him carry on the way he did and Pix was actually screaming. It was a long day until I found the cat and chased it all over the house to get it out! Poor baby is still shaken. @Ru-bee 

They look totally different when they are shaved! At least Toby will be cooler and easier to groom and bath! Think of the bonus! When my dogs have been shaved for their surgeries it has taken a while for their hair to grow back. However the sites were shaved until they were bald. It look funny having one leg and a quarter of the body done! 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , how you feeling?

Glad to hear the procedure was okay and you are back home. I'm guessing the pain's not the best?

If you feel up to it, we have a webinar on tonight - on sleep. You may be interested 🙂

Look after yourself. Don't do too much! 

Thinking of you.

[Captain24]

Thanks @tyme 

Im not feeling real well but I guess thats to be expected. 

The pain is pretty bad but I'm hoping it eases in the next few days. 

I was really proud of myself the way I handled it. I emailed my psych thanking her for her help. I got some homework! She doesn’t give homework! 

Im taking it easy, my psych said to ‘be my friend’ and rest while recovering, she knows that I’d push the limits!

Ive registered for the webinar, I think it’ll be interesting. See how it goes. 

Hie have you been? Productive or a jungle?