I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I am excited but there is so much work to do to get my house ready. @Jynx. I have done a far bit but Thursday is going to be huge. I have to finish of everything plus do everything that I do in a couple of days in one day. It’s overwhelming me already. 

I have been through them before and they all point to hypomania. But I’m having the irritability instead of euphoric mood. But I’m also feeling quite down too. I really am sure now that it’s a mixed episode and I don’t usually get them. They are really horrible. But if the down keeps getting worse then the risk of suicide increases. I’m not really sure on how to get myself out of it. I’m not really experienced in it. 

I tried reading it but it was a lot. I have to come back to it. I did get something out of it I HATE being told what to do and won’t do it. 

Your therapy appointment sounded pretty full on! I hope the others weren’t as hard. Oh.. send some my way! 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 we might be in a cleaning frenzy together then!! I got a house inspection on Thursday 😵

But I'm thinking I will try to postpone it! 

Hmm... I don't really have much experience with mixed episodes, except that my friend told me that what made it dangerous for her was the sense of grandiosity - like she felt like she was untouchable, whilst also wanting to self-destruct. I hope it's okay I tag @creative_writer ? She's got some experience with mixed episodes, maybe you two can swap some tips or something. 

And please don't hesitate to reach out to like SCBS or something if things get super dicey. Or even if you just need like a 'circuit-breaker' or something to help get out of your head for a bit. 

Haha yep it's a thing!! ND brains like to do things on our own terms I think. It's why I like living alone - the only demands are from my cats, and I can distract them with treats 😝

I wish I could shower the whole dang forums with raspberries haha. Like the Oprah of berries 🤣 

[Captain24]

Not really @Jynx 

Oh how I use to depose house inspections! I’m so glad I don’t have to now but this actually feels like one. I need my house spotless incase she wants to look at it. I’m pretty house proud though. One of the things I read was tidy organised spaces. I’m like that most of the time. When my house isn’t spotless I beat myself up but it also matches my mood. Hence cleaning and keeping it tidy more work, less thinking! 

Did you see the photos? 

That sounds about right! I’m not coping with it at all. Your friend defs has bipolar. 😂 I can’t even begin to explain what it’s like in my head. I know o have shared stuff but there isn’t the right words for what is bouncing all the way around in there. 

I see my psych on Wednesday so she will hopefully be able to help. 

It also explains why I prefer to be alone and don’t like it when people are here. I like my safe space and love my dogs (well sometimes, they won’t stop barking!) I don’t have to answer to anyone or think of anyone. It’s all my time and I can do what I want not what people are saying I should do. 

That sounds great.. do the cats like them?