So I spent literal hours on the phone today speaking to my disability advocate, planner and so called support coordinator to come up with some at least semblance of a path forward for me, even if not continuing to be an NDIS participant is what has to happen in the end.
As I wrote earlier, my review is coming up in late May, so I don't really have much time unfortunately. I will be seeing my GP soon and I will discuss all this mess with her also. Basically it has been discovered that it is highly likely that I will be denied to continue as an NDIS participant anyways with financial problems alone, yet alone obviously dysfunctional so called agreements with providers and the clear lack of services in my area that are actually useful for what I need help with, in ways that are actually accessible to me.
That was discovered based on the fact that less than half of my funding overall has been used throughout my first plan. Again, not due to the fact I don't need it but because there aren't any appropriate services available, which was also confirmed by all the above other people. It was decided that continuing down this road will be more of a detriment as opposed to beneficial, especially towards my mental health.
I asked if there would have been any difference had I been able to get into an actually professional psychiatrist or clinical psychologist to further cement that the services under a MHCP are inadequate in terms of supporting my access to more appropriate providers and services, and the answer was no, they just don't exist because the NDIS wasn't designed with mental illness/psychosocial disability in mind.
It seems to be that perhaps if I were someone who is a lot more social and community activity inclined, I would be able to benefit far better because that is the overall view the NDIS has of psychosocial disability, I mean, it does have social in the term itself which never made much of any sense to me if I'm being completely honest. But I'm not, so that plays a large role into why things have played out the way they have. People just don't seem to recognise or give a sh*t that mental illness, disabling or not can have a variety of different impacts on a person's life that are not socially based.
No one really seems to care that there are people out here who literally can't get out of bed, take proper care of themselves with their physical health, hygiene and overall self-care, who cannot do basic daily functions like clean their homes and maintain a tenancy and so on, who need dire psychological, occupational and behavioural supports to simply enable the most basic of life skills that people without disabilities take for granted because of the functional impact of their mental illness/es.
Of the few who do, there is little genuine, holistic recognition towards these issues and people are unnecessarily suffering every day because of them. But who am I to talk, I'm just the consumer who most professionals and providers have considered to be too worthless and incompetent to have any valid opinion or say in anything.
Well, I think its about time I stopped being a consumer because it has never done anything except make me more ill and less functional. And they couldn't care less about me, so I couldn't care less what they think of me doing so, it isn't as if any dose of their own medicine will ever teach them a lesson. I'm over it all, the disempowerment, the being treated like dirt and left to rot on the curb, the being called worthless and a waste of resources, I have to listen to that all day in my own brain folks, sure not going to listen to a double dose of it.
Maybe others will benefit, but I'm done and more than tired of it all. Guess I'm better off on my own. At least I actually admit the impact that has instead of being ignorant to the reality that is right in front of me.
I don't know what will happen after I leave, but I will be leaving. I fail to see how much will change, because nothing has changed, the same broken record is still playing and I'm used to it. I'm the only one who has to put up with the sh*t in the end, and watch what little life I have turn to ruins.
I wish you luck and success with the NDIS @eth and @CheerBear but I don't think its appropriate for me to participate in this thread anymore given the above.
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN