Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Hel71]

Reaching out.

No family and lack of friends. I do and can meet people but don't click with them.

Realising I am lacking love. 

Yes, self -love -we all know about that but I am meaning love from someone...

Wondering what is wrong with me.

Everyone looks happy, has family and are always busy, busy, busy.

Struggling.. Getting more disappointed and depressed as I'm getting older.

I do know that my family cycle and upbringing has a lot to do with it but have been trying for years to break from that pattern and negativity. People seem to recognise that fault and veer away.

[tyme]

Hey @Hel71 ,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like a very difficult time for you. I can see you have been reflecting on your life and find yourself feeling lonely.

It takes a lot to reach out. We recognise how hard it can be. 

By connecting with people on these forums, I hope you feel a sense of connection. For me, I experienced years of feeling very lonely. By utilising these forums, I gradually developed the skills to trust people a little more and open up. I then used these skills and transferred them into the real world. It hasn't been easy, but it has worked. 

I wonder if these forums will support you to develop transferrable skills into the real world?

What are somethings you are interested in?

[Messylife]

@Hel71 Feeling unloved really pains. 

Feeling uncared for and lonely is draining isn't it. 

I am now single and my house is quiet, I have to make my own noise. 

I am always super busy, I study and work and have a business that I juggle. I make excuses for not getting out and meeting people. I am working on that. 

Things that help chase away my bad feelings that I am not good enough include: animals, horses, dogs, cats, the magpies. 

I try to get out in nature and feel it talking to me. Showing me things, the wind or sun or biting cold and rainy keeping me company with its touch. Nature doesn't judge us. 

Music. Music keeps the brain alive, try to memorise a new song or go look up what the lyrics mean. Music can touch our souls, live music especially.

Books about love, not necessarily the old mills and boon but books about struggle and the lengths people go for love, reading is a great escape, especially poetry.  

Art, get into it, share it, you don't have to be an artist just do it. Make love in art and go see others art. All forms.

Lastly....go get a pedicure or massage or even a long head shampoo and shave. There is a lot to be said for human touch. Oh boy do I need some tonight!

Just feel love. It not something handed on a plate. 

Best wishes. 

I hope you find love soon. 

Mee took!

❤️

[EllowAster]

Much in the same boat. Wondering if ive been set up for loveless life. Hope youre managing, its hard to live life when youre alone and uncertain, but youre doing good in my eyes no matter your age. There are so many horrible people out there but just reading your post youre among the best type of human. Your inner child will be lucky when you learn to love them completely. (So cheesy but eh)

I'm thinkin there needs to be a forum or app for marriage pacts among the mentally ill 😂 i think ill take this generational trauma/the family curse to the grave either way.

Good luck out there

[Hel71]

Thank you ypu..

[MayaBird07]

Hi @Hel71 

I can relate to what you wrote, I don't have many friends and I don't have any family support either. It does make mental health recovery feel like a lonely time. 

There is nothing wrong with you and you are not alone in how you are feeling.

I am not sure if you are on social media, but I found the best thing for me to do when I felt lonely was to get off social media. Seeing everyone's happy and joyful lives, made me feel like my life was pointless and hopeless, despite knowing deep down that most of these people were not really happy in real life.

I found switching myself off from that side of things, just for short periods, helped me be ok with my life. It isn't exciting or filled with lots of friends or family, big holidays or announcements, but knowing what every one else is doing was doing my head in. 

Its great that you are trying to break free of your family cycle, I've done the same recently but it has left me feeling very alone and a little lost. With therapy, I'm learning to be ok with that.. I've learned to validate my own feelings and while I may feel uncomfortable now, I know it is temporary. Breaking free of old patterns and habits instilled in us from childhood is not something that happens overnight. 

I hope you are ok and remember you have survived all your worst days and nobody else has had your lived experience in life. Give yourself a little love first and a little forgiveness for not being perfect, nobody has the perfect life. 

[Hel71]

Thank you...

[Hel71]

Thank you Messylife. Hope youre ok..

[Hel71]

Thank you EllowAster.

[Cheeky123]

Darling 

I'm truly sorry you feel so lonely,  lm here to chat if needed.

Can l just let you in on a little secret ?

Those people running around looking so happy ? 

Yeah well the majority are faking it and are running because  they can't stop to think , overtime they fall apart .

I understand what your saying , at times l feel the same .

But trust me , what goes on behind closed doors instead of in public is a complete flip of the coin . 

As what's wrong with you! 

Probably nothing ! 

You are human 

We all are perfectly imperfect 

Try to get involved with a club or something  that you enjoy and makes you feel good about yourself 

You don't need validation  from anyone  

Although human nature desires it .  

Think about what makes you feel happy ? 

I'm not sure lve help 

But lm sending lots of hugs your way 

Xo