Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Former-Member]

@Determined 

Checking in Bro 

[Determined]

Thanks @Former-Member 

[Determined]

On the edge of another crisis here at the moment.

Darling is MIA having driven off in the car ☹

One of our boundaries is that I will call the police and report her as a possible safety risk if that happens when she is in her current state of mind but reluctant to do that just yet. She did depart in a rational manner so giving a little space is possibly the better option. (If she had departed in a cloud of smoke as she has in the past I would not hesitate). We all left at home are left to sit and worry for the day though. While I am concerned about her driving around in her current state of mind part of me wonders if she wants me to chase after her to prove I care but I just don't have the energy for that at the moment... and from past experience that just feeds into a cycle of similar behaviour.  

So much for working on study today for a test I have next week. 

[Determined]

Every time I hear ambulance and police sirens (happens a lot due to our location on the edge of town) I feel my anxiety rise. Particularly right after she left 😬

Going to be a long day. Hoping she comes home sooner rather than later. 

[Former-Member]

@Determined  🙏

Have you set a time limit before you ring police?  Does she have a fixed pattern of where she might go?

[Smc]

@Determined, is it worth sending her a message, and basing further action on any response you get? Know what you mean about ambulances. 😞

[Determined]

The plan is to try and contact her around 4pm @Former-Member  and if I can't raise her by 5 call then.

I have just spoken to her dad though and he has just been in contact with her so a little less worried for now. Only me she hates apparently. 

As far as pattern.. not really anywhere from the local park to a location over an hour away. Well that is what she has told me in the past anyway. At least this time she has spoken to someone to say she is ok rather than ignoring everyone as she has in the past. 

[Determined]

She has just been in contact. I can breathe a little easier.  Wanted to know if and what I had given the boys for lunch. Apparently my child minding  competence is in question.

She has been been shopping and had lunch out apparently. Don't understand how one can complain about weight then in the next breath go and have fat loaded  takeout for a meal. 

[Smc]

@Determined, we see similar irrational disconnects all too often. The mental gymnastics of trying to understand it are exhausting.

[Determined]

Thanks @Smc  @Former-Member 

She is home now.

The rage this morning has not had the required effect on me so now we have moved on to crying and making me feel bad for not caring. 

Agreed @Smc  the mental gymnastics is exhausting.