Skip to main content
The Mental Health Council of Tasmania (MHCT) is a member based peak body. We represent and promote the interests of community managed mental health services and have a strong commitment to enabling better access and outcomes for every Tasmanian.
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Looking after ourselves

TBTB
New Contributor

Taking care of mum- when does residential aged care become neccessary

Hi Everyone, 

First post.

 

I'd like to figure out what signs I should be looking for, that might signal I can no longer cope with the workload of caring for mum, so suggestions would be helpful?

 

I am primary carer for my mum, who has Alzheimers. Recently she had a stroke, which has affected her mental capacity and not for the better. I'd really like some advice from others on how to know (before I have another carer burnout episode) when is the right time to think about mum going into residential aged care. Mum used to be an aged care nurse, and is vehemently against going into residential aged care. Her ideal is leaving her house in a pine box, or only when she no longer understands what's happening. I am trying to support her in that decision, but there will come a time when I can no longer support her. I really don't want to just fall over in a heap like last time, I ended up not being able to make even the simplest decisions.

 

I know everyone's ability to cope is as different as their circumstances, so here is a list of my circumstances:

* Mum currently lives independently about 5mins walk from me

* I work full time, but would visit her most days to help out with something (shopping/fixing broken stuff/organising her medical appointments etc). Its a rare day when I don't get a phone call or other disruption to my work. 

* Mum has no mobility impairments, but has been assessed as no longer being safe to be out in public unaccompanied, she's impulsive and can only understand simple instructions

* I don't have much family support - the rest of my immediate family lives elsewhere and aren't in a position to help out with daily stuff, even without 'Rona to worry about

* Mum and dad are getting divorced, so I also deal with mum's lawyers

* I try to take care of my own mental health with exercise and hobbies whenever I can, but often those times are few and far between. I'd like to find a life partner, but there never seems to be time for meeting new people when I struggle to even find time to go for a walk.

 

2 REPLIES 2

Re: Taking care of mum- when does residential aged care become neccessary

Hi @TBTB ,

 

I posted this elsewhere in this forum, but I thought this might be helpful for you.

 

I live with an 87 year old and she has been assisted by Baptcare for quite a few years now. She lives in her own home and has various healthcare professionals visiting her 7 days a week looking after her illness (eg. daily diabetes test), delivering medication, visiting doctor, housekeeping, grocery shopping, massage or just someone to talk to, etc. She also wears an alarm necklace which she can press in the event of emergency. She can phone them anytime if she needs too. All service expenses covered by the government.

 

If your mom is still independent enough to live in her home, you may want to engage with such organisation. Otherwise, a nursing home will be an alternative option.

 

Best wishes!Smiley Happy

Re: Taking care of mum- when does residential aged care become neccessary

Hey @TBTB

Welcome to the forums 🌻 These are big questions you're facing, so I'm glad you reached out here. How are you travelling now? 

 

Also if you want to 'tag' another member, put an @ in front of their name and they will get a notification of your post. 

 

 

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance

Mental Health Council of Tasmania